Don’t Make a Girl a Promise You Can’t Keep

There is little doubt that I love video games. I mean, I did an entire post filled with odd screen caps of my adventures in Mass Effect 2!

Then again, I think that was also soon after I explained that video gaming was an addiction for me.

Anyway, video games have been in my life since I was little. Whether it was educational games or not, they were there. I played Super Mario Bros, Tetris, RC Pro AM, Dr. Mario, we had an Intelivision 2. My first computer games were LOOM, Zach McCracken, X-Wing. I loved them all.

We never got a SNES but eventually got a Sega Genesis. I don’t know why we did, but we did. I played Sonic the Hedgehog, Mortal Kombat was my fighting game of choice back when ratings weren’t a thing. While we had the systems, buying games wasn’t a thing for us. We rented them when we wanted to.

Things didn’t get serious until the PlayStation system came about. It was a family Christmas present, though I was the one doing most of the playing. We got a few games for it, one was Legend of Mana (which was my first introduction to RPGs), but nothing more than Christmas presents.

PlayStation 2, though, was when things got serious. I got survival horror games, fighting games, RPGs (never touched a Final Fantasy game), and loved them. Strange games and little known/loved series (Shin Megami Tensei series ftw) were my thing.

Then the Xbox came into being. I wasn’t interested so we never purchased one. The first time I ever played one was at a friend’s weekly LAN party. I had broken up with a boyfriend and was feeling down. Said friend offered to pick me up after my hula class so I could join the party, which consisted of people from the college anime club. I took the offer.

They were playing Halo. It wasn’t the first time I had played an FPS but the only other one was Wolfenstein for the PC and I was pretty young at that point. I played. I sucked. I had fun, though. The guys knew it was my first time with the game and system and took the time to explain the controller layout and let me use an off brand controller so I didn’t have to use the “potato”. No one held my lack of skill against me. It was nothing but fun.

That was when and where I officially met Grendal. He was part of the anime club but we didn’t really talk. He was the one to drive me home, which was in the opposite direction of his own. It was that day, that game, which set everything in motion.

The Halo series has been a major part of our time together. We’ve gone through the series together, read the books, and waited with baited breath for new releases. Our Xbox 360 was purchased mainly for Halo 3. The music that Grendal had for himself at our wedding was Halo music.

This month marks the 10 year anniversary of Halo 2. October marked our 10 years of being together. We both can’t wait. I will watch Grendal go through the game, waiting my turn to play, and, in a roundabout way, we’ll be reliving the early moments of our relationship.

It will be glorious.

Wishing For the Best

I don’t like wishing ill on anyone.  I can pinpoint the first time I ever felt like that. I believe it was 2003, and I had broken up with my first boyfriend.  We had spent three years together, which was pretty much my entire high school time.  We had talked about getting an apartment together, even marriage was danced around.  I had a promise ring to prove it.

I went to college and met knew peoole. People who weren’t friends with him and he didn’t know existed. I even had male friends. That was when things started to get a little more clear. I broke it off over the phone. He wasn’t happy. He cried and I sat there. I think I felt bad but I don’t remember.

From the get go he was angry and I wasn’t surprised. We worked the same job, similar shifts, so we saw each other. He tried to get me mad, tried to piss me off. It never worked. I smiled and wished him the best in life, even after he and another coworker handed my number to a random customer. In the end our relationship came to a neutral spot. We were okay by the time I left the job. Not friends, but okay.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I realized the relationship was an abusive one. Not physically. I could have ripped him apart. It was emotional and partially mental. Grendal has helped me. He is the only one to know about it. I still freak out over little thing. I panic if I see someone who looks like him.

My spiritual path is what set me up to let things roll off me. I started off on a neo-wiccan path and have ended up in the Heathen society. One thing that stuck with me was the “harm none” bit. It evolved in to more of a think positive of others because you are bound to harm someone in one way or another.

But let me tell you, staying that way is hard. I do have anger issues when I get passionate, but thankfully Grendal is here to keep me grounded.

It’s Been a While

Like a month. Okay, a little more than a month. Life has been hectic. Lots of ups and downs.

We have looked out houses! We found many that were not right, a few that were, and of those few good ones, fewer still we have considered. There was one that was nearly perfect! It had enough rooms(ugly rooms, but nothing paint wouldn’t fix), a little more than an acre of land, and a basement. It was in that basement that we found the foundation bowing and nice shafts of daylight weaseling in.

There went that dream.

We are seeming to be nearing the end of our search, though. There are two houses we’re looking at this weekend and my father is coming with us to do some inspections. Fingers crossed!

As I said, there have been ups and downs. The big down portion is that Grendal’s grandmother passed away roughly two weeks ago. It was expected but that never softens the blow. It’s been hard on Grendal’s family. Things are slowly settling. We worry about grandpa. They had been married for 64 years. It’s hard to imagine what he is going through.

The only other positive thing that has happened is that I turned 30 on the 24th. I may be one of those few happy people to be 30. I’ve been told that these years will be good.

Things have to get better.

Doing Adult Things

Adult things.  Y’know, like paying bills and stuff.  Not “adult” things.  This blog is considered PG, maybe PG13 if I’m feeling rather animated(ie ranting and getting liberal with the “curse words”).

Anyway, last Thursday Grendal and I took a major step forward in our life: we talked with a loan officer at our bank.  Better yet we got pre-approved for a home loan!  I’ve been rambling on about looking for our own place for a while now and it finally seems like it’s going to happen.  Starting with the next round of checks we’re both putting roughly half our paychecks into a joint savings account.  That’s another “adult” thing we’ve decided to do: a joint account.  Savings only, though.  We figure that when it comes to the regular accounts we should have our own because, knowing how paranoid I get, if an amount of money seems to be missing thanks to Grendal wanting to surprise me with something, I will know.  I watch my account like a hawk and worry over little things.

So yes, we’re taking that large step into becoming “proper adults”(oh how littered this post shall be with quotation marks).  We’re happy, my family is happy, our friends are happy, and, I think, Grendal’s family is happy.  It’s hard to say because this is where it becomes a little strange.

!!!WARNING!!!

Up to this point I have somewhat danced around and/or shied away from talk of spiritual things. I know not a lot of people enjoy that talk and I have lost a friend or two because of it.  So, if you don’t mind reading about it then follow the break.

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Dear Niece

Dear Little Onna,

I found out over the weekend that you like bad guys. I just wanted to let you know that I like them too. Don’t feel bad if you hear grandma or your mom talk about how weird it is, I understand. You are a year ahead of me when it comes to liking villains.

I was in a grade higher than you when I decided bad guys were cool but it wasn’t the best way to get to that point. Being little kids in elementary school we decided to play something akin to the Disney movies we loved. We had our knight, sidekick, townsfolk, but we still needed our princess and evil witch

Another girl and I wanted to be the princess but only one could be it. Kids being kids, we decided that princesses had to sing and that was the way to pick. Apparently I didn’t sing well enough. I decided to be the best evil witch there was.

And I was, my little Onna! I also went on to be a part of many choirs, impressing many people and driving a few to teary eyes. Not many princesses can do that. You will notice that the bad guys have the best songs.

We aren’t alone either! Grendal likes bad guys too, and there are people you don’t know that love them. Some even dress up as them and get their pictures taken by other people who love bad guys. We understand.

It’s okay to get upset when the bad guy loses. It’s okay to cry if they die. They have feelings too. Some are more evil than others. Some are just misunderstood. Some have a life that will make you understand why they did it. It’s okay to like some more than others. And it’s okay to root for the hero.

Enjoy the villains. Look at the evil witches and see that, sometimes, they aren’t as bad as some say. Sometimes those women are just strong willed and don’t take the crap men dish out. Sometimes they got hurt and want revenge. Yes, sometimes they are manipulated into it or do evil things because they enjoy it.

Bad guys will never change in your movies, t.v. shows, and video games. You will change, my little Onna. And if you still love the bad guy, you and I can be evil witches together and sing the best songs.

Back to the Future

It’s a good movie, but the movie is irrelevant right now but I needed the title!

So yes, RenFair time was had over this past Saturday and it was a decent time.  I say decent and not great because my bodice broke and I ended up being stabbed in the lower back by two plastic ribbing pieces(note to self: use ACTUAL corset next time).  It was hot but there was a breeze, a small one, but it helped.  There was not a cloud in the sky which ended up with me feeling ill by the end of the day thanks to too much sun exposure.  Don’t give me that look!  I need to keep this pasty white complexion the way it is.  I did end up sleeping 12 hours after and felt fine!

My nieces enjoyed themselves to no end! They got some treats, had their own costumes, the eldest got her leather bound journal(with hand made pages!!), and the youngest got her little puppet and a pair of horns!  The only disappoint was the final joust, which was to the death.  This year, sadly, none of the players had their eye “ripped” out and they went a little easy on the stage blood.  Ho hum.

Grendal and I are going again on the 23 with Divo and one of Grendal’s coworkers.  No children this time.  More fun to be had, by means of not having to ghost a 7 year old.

But yes, PICTURES!  I have some.  Not a lot.  Only 294 shots.  Not all of them are as great as they could be.  I promise more after the next trip.

Those pictures(not all 294) and less rambling below the cut!

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