I’m Not Bitter, I Just Don’t Like You

I seem to complain a lot.  There is always something wrong and I vent here.  Woe unto me.

It’s not true, though.  During my time on the executive board of a college club (I worked my way from secretary up to president) I came to the conclusion, rather quickly, that when a person is content they are quiet.  When they’re upset or irritated by something they whip out the megaphone and let the world know.  There are people that don’t fit that ‘norm’ but I see it more often than not.  It appears that I am one of those people.  I will try to highlight the good stuff this time around and ignore the maelstrom of crap that is happening in my sphere of life(which prompted the upbeat title of this post).

Next month is the year mark of my marriage to Grendal and, in October, it will be our 10 year anniversary of being together.  We’ve been wondering if we should celebrate both.  Not much changed when we signed the papers and threw that party last June.  We had been living together for nearly our entire relationship by that point, so there wasn’t anything like that.  Our relationship is unconventional, if you go by the ‘classic’ way of things.  Oh well.

Anyway, anniversary!  We’re heading up north a little bit and settling into a hotel for a few days.  A nice couple of days hiking.  Expect pictures.  Maybe lots of them.  I don’t know.

Because of this sojourn we’ve been tight on money, which kinda bites because something interesting was released this past week: J. R. R. Tolkien’s translation of Beowulf.  I was excited because, well, it was Tolkien and Beowulf!  I don’t own a copy of Beowulf in general and neither does Grendal.  I’ve been tempted to surprise him with it, though I don’t know how excited he would be.  Plus, we don’t have that budgeted in.  Most likely after our vacation and my next tattoo session I can order that.  Then we get to argue about the owner of said book.

And I can donate to this awesome kickstarter:  Bring Reading Rainbow Back.  Yes, I was one of those kids who watched and loved that show(play the theme and I can sing along, just like the rest of you).  I watched LeVar on ST:TNG and was confused/happy when I saw him on a different show(I was young and didn’t know you could do more than one show).  Imagine how I felt when I saw the episode where they were on the set of the Enterprise!   I don’t do the kickstarter bit, yet this one has got me dancing.  I will be putting money out on this if/when I get the chance.  Crossing my fingers that I can go for the 100$ and get some stuff(I want a coffee mug, dammit).

I suppose last on the list of happy things(for the moment), we’ve started watching season 2 of Hannibal!  I am super excited and so is Divo, and to a certain extent Grendal.  We have been limited to two episodes a week so we don’t burn out.  Part of me understands but the child in me is throwing a fit because I want to see what happened NOW.  So yes, got up to episode 3(extra episode on Monday due to the holiday[don’t judge me]) and now we wait.

I am antsy.

I wanna see more mayhem and manipulation.

And Mads.

hannibal

 

Yeah……

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So Many Chances

Last time I posted it was obvious that something was wrong. Like I had mentioned, Grendal had an interview with a train company. The job would have op

ened

so many doors and for once we could be comfortable. We made little plans, wishes, and prepared to sacrifice our first anniversary for training. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t see him for weeks on end.

Grendal didn’t get the job. Dreams dashed again. Hopes kicked aside.

Then there is the trouble with Grendal’s sister. She has yet to pay rent and his parents are trying to negotiate the rent issue. There should be no negotiations but that’s just me.

So here we are, money thrown at a prospective job and a negative outcome. We are now trying to save up for our anniversary, which is less than a month away. Nearly 600$ for the room, nothing yet considered for food. Grendal says we can do this. I have to believe him.

To top things off, I got a tattoo. I had made the arrangement before things went south and didn’t want to back out. Not to mention I’ve been waiting for this for over two years. With some grumbling Grendal let me go through with it. I now have the outline of Odin’s ravens on my arm. The artist has done a beautiful job. He did more than I hoped, adding in the world tree, the ravens’ names in runes, the sun, and both ravens holding an eye. In another month I get this baby colored and pay the other half which is awesome!

So I have calmed down a bit. No more tears for now and my frustrations are kept in check. Grendal is pushing forward and continuing to apply at the company. We just have to wait.

I am starting to hate waiting.

Sometimes It’s Hard

It’s hard to stay focused.

Stay upbeat and smile.

Depression brought on by situations just beyond my realm of influence.

I thought I left that behind when I moved out of my parents’ place.

I was wrong.

I honestly thought I couldn’t dislike someone more than I disliked my older sister.

Again, I was wrong.

Now I know what it’s like to be beyond tears.

Too fed up and tired to cry anymore.

Nothing seems to be working.

I’ve heard and been told that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, that things happen for a reason, we are given only what we can handle.

What the hell am I being prepared for?

I have been content up until now.

All I want is a place for Grendal, our furry children, and myself.

Land to love and live off of.

What must I do to even approach that moment when I can look at something and truly think to myself ‘Yes, we could afford this. We can do this.’ ?

All I want is for Grendal to be able to breath easily and breath deeply.

 

 

 

(I will explain in the next day or too. Things have been a mess in my head and if I let it out now, it would be more of a mess than ever)

Cavorting with the Enemy

So here I am, 100 miles away from home. Grendal has a panel interview with a railway company and I have no clue how to kill time. We left home early, had a quick breakfast and no coffee. So as he goes off to wait, I need to entertain myself. Without pause I grab a book (The Backyard Homestead) and my kindle then head to the one place I know that I can bum around in: Starbucks.

I’ve worked for the company before, leaving 4 months shy of 2 years. I learned much of my coffee knowledge from them. Hell, I never drank coffee before working there. I perfected my cappuccino game there and learned to love lemonade and tea mixes. The customers were okay and there were only a few coworkers that were worth the time. Once I left I really didn’t go back or miss the place.

Except for your free pound of coffee a week. That was nice.

So I get myself a small(no, I am not doing the lingo) vanilla soy latte. A little over 4$ here. There was something is that screamed. Maybe it even died. Why? The same item at the coffee shop I work in, it’s half the price. Not to mention it tastes better. No, I’m not harping on Starbucks because it is a previous employer and I am disgruntled. Far from it. They got me into coffee. I do know a fine cup of coffee when I taste one, though.

(I tried inserting a video from Twin Peaks here but my kindle said no)

The latte was subpar. Whether it was due to the barista or just the product is debatable. It has been YEARS since I’ve been to a Starbucks so I don’t know if this is the norm. All I know is that I can make a better drink than this.

Now I have to hope that I don’t get the stink eye from Divo.

I had to tell him. He would find out eventually.

Arts and Crafts

Maybe more art but there is some crafty bits around.  A lot has happened since I last posted but I can’t get into much at the moment.  Rather, take a look at something Divo and I(to a lesser extent) have done.  We took our old, small tip jar and made something new.

 

The trip is funded. Luckily three of us are short enough to be counted as children.

The trip is funded. Luckily three of us are short enough to be counted as children.

 

Divo had an old peanut jar/bucket/tub/thing and decided to carve out the top and BOOM! Instant, clear tip jar.  It was my idea to snag a dry erase marker and add a new picture and phrase each day.  We’ve gotten chuckles and a picture of the jar or two.  The best thing? Our tips have increased.  Everyone is happy with this and it adds a little joy and humor to the morning.  It’s only been within this past week but we’ve done an interesting job of it all.  Here’s what we’ve had.

 

WARNING!!!! PICTURE HEAVY!!!!

We love Little Shop of Horrors

We love Little Shop of Horrors

Better shot of our plant

Better shot of our plant

We can be punny if we must.

We can be punny if we must.

Oh no, there goes Tokyo

Oh no, there goes Tokyo

Go, go Godzilla (I tried, I swear)

Go, go Godzilla
(I tried, I swear)

We love Death Stars so much, we're funding our own

We love Death Stars so much, we’re funding our own

Death Star not to scale

Death Star not to scale

 

There has been more going on in my life but I don’t want to talk too much about it at the moment.  It’s all positive. I can say that my grandmother is slowly getting better, which is good.

Other portions of my life, for now, are a secret.  Lets just say that I don’t want to jinx anything.

 

And no, it’s nothing child related.

Not yet.