Sometimes It’s Hard

It’s hard to stay focused.

Stay upbeat and smile.

Depression brought on by situations just beyond my realm of influence.

I thought I left that behind when I moved out of my parents’ place.

I was wrong.

I honestly thought I couldn’t dislike someone more than I disliked my older sister.

Again, I was wrong.

Now I know what it’s like to be beyond tears.

Too fed up and tired to cry anymore.

Nothing seems to be working.

I’ve heard and been told that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, that things happen for a reason, we are given only what we can handle.

What the hell am I being prepared for?

I have been content up until now.

All I want is a place for Grendal, our furry children, and myself.

Land to love and live off of.

What must I do to even approach that moment when I can look at something and truly think to myself ‘Yes, we could afford this. We can do this.’ ?

All I want is for Grendal to be able to breath easily and breath deeply.

 

 

 

(I will explain in the next day or too. Things have been a mess in my head and if I let it out now, it would be more of a mess than ever)

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