I have them. Well, one. The surprise is the reason I have been absent.

Give me a week and I can explain and show you why.


Don’t Make a Girl a Promise You Can’t Keep

There is little doubt that I love video games. I mean, I did an entire post filled with odd screen caps of my adventures in Mass Effect 2!

Then again, I think that was also soon after I explained that video gaming was an addiction for me.

Anyway, video games have been in my life since I was little. Whether it was educational games or not, they were there. I played Super Mario Bros, Tetris, RC Pro AM, Dr. Mario, we had an Intelivision 2. My first computer games were LOOM, Zach McCracken, X-Wing. I loved them all.

We never got a SNES but eventually got a Sega Genesis. I don’t know why we did, but we did. I played Sonic the Hedgehog, Mortal Kombat was my fighting game of choice back when ratings weren’t a thing. While we had the systems, buying games wasn’t a thing for us. We rented them when we wanted to.

Things didn’t get serious until the PlayStation system came about. It was a family Christmas present, though I was the one doing most of the playing. We got a few games for it, one was Legend of Mana (which was my first introduction to RPGs), but nothing more than Christmas presents.

PlayStation 2, though, was when things got serious. I got survival horror games, fighting games, RPGs (never touched a Final Fantasy game), and loved them. Strange games and little known/loved series (Shin Megami Tensei series ftw) were my thing.

Then the Xbox came into being. I wasn’t interested so we never purchased one. The first time I ever played one was at a friend’s weekly LAN party. I had broken up with a boyfriend and was feeling down. Said friend offered to pick me up after my hula class so I could join the party, which consisted of people from the college anime club. I took the offer.

They were playing Halo. It wasn’t the first time I had played an FPS but the only other one was Wolfenstein for the PC and I was pretty young at that point. I played. I sucked. I had fun, though. The guys knew it was my first time with the game and system and took the time to explain the controller layout and let me use an off brand controller so I didn’t have to use the “potato”. No one held my lack of skill against me. It was nothing but fun.

That was when and where I officially met Grendal. He was part of the anime club but we didn’t really talk. He was the one to drive me home, which was in the opposite direction of his own. It was that day, that game, which set everything in motion.

The Halo series has been a major part of our time together. We’ve gone through the series together, read the books, and waited with baited breath for new releases. Our Xbox 360 was purchased mainly for Halo 3. The music that Grendal had for himself at our wedding was Halo music.

This month marks the 10 year anniversary of Halo 2. October marked our 10 years of being together. We both can’t wait. I will watch Grendal go through the game, waiting my turn to play, and, in a roundabout way, we’ll be reliving the early moments of our relationship.

It will be glorious.

Wishing For the Best

I don’t like wishing ill on anyone.  I can pinpoint the first time I ever felt like that. I believe it was 2003, and I had broken up with my first boyfriend.  We had spent three years together, which was pretty much my entire high school time.  We had talked about getting an apartment together, even marriage was danced around.  I had a promise ring to prove it.

I went to college and met knew peoole. People who weren’t friends with him and he didn’t know existed. I even had male friends. That was when things started to get a little more clear. I broke it off over the phone. He wasn’t happy. He cried and I sat there. I think I felt bad but I don’t remember.

From the get go he was angry and I wasn’t surprised. We worked the same job, similar shifts, so we saw each other. He tried to get me mad, tried to piss me off. It never worked. I smiled and wished him the best in life, even after he and another coworker handed my number to a random customer. In the end our relationship came to a neutral spot. We were okay by the time I left the job. Not friends, but okay.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I realized the relationship was an abusive one. Not physically. I could have ripped him apart. It was emotional and partially mental. Grendal has helped me. He is the only one to know about it. I still freak out over little thing. I panic if I see someone who looks like him.

My spiritual path is what set me up to let things roll off me. I started off on a neo-wiccan path and have ended up in the Heathen society. One thing that stuck with me was the “harm none” bit. It evolved in to more of a think positive of others because you are bound to harm someone in one way or another.

But let me tell you, staying that way is hard. I do have anger issues when I get passionate, but thankfully Grendal is here to keep me grounded.