Bigger, Better

“Is it just a human problem that we’re never happy?”



“It’s not a human problem.  It’s a sociatal problem.”


“Yes.  We’ve been told we need bigger, better things from a young age.  We reach our goal and go for another one.”

“A bigger, better goal.”

“To get bigger, better things.”

“Gotta go to college to get a bigger, better job so you can get a bigger, better car and a bigger, better house-”

“Where you put all your bigger, better things.”

~5 minutes of silence/staring at each other~

“Why can’t we be happy with what we got?”

“We just have to realize we don’t need anything more.  We just want more.”


New Year

New me.  Pfffft. Who am I kidding?

I believe I gave up New Year Resolutions years ago. Most of the time they were too ‘out there’ and the other times I just didn’t bother. Besides, the resolutions about eating better? Doing that already. Working out? Might happen eventually.

That ‘New Year, New Me’ stuff, though, seems a bit much. I suppose if your had a bad year, for what ever reason, that mentality could be a wonderful thing but for me, I think I am at a pretty good place in my life. True I can spruce things up but New Me? I like me.

We finally got some snow on the ground here in Northern Illinois and with that we also got some cold weather. Grendal’s winter break has been extended thanks to that but the other drivers aren’t too happy. Heavens forbid they work a little into June and a few days of summer vacation gets eaten up. Then again, even when I was a student I never understood the upset of having to go to school a little into summer.

Yes. It finally feels and looks like winter. It is becoming a favorite season for me. While most people feel alive in summer, I feel like I am melting. The half-Hawaiian girl who doesn’t like warm weather. Go figure.

This also seems to be the time of year that I look at my spiritual beliefs and feel the resurgence of it all. I don’t know exactly why, but it happens. Its the time of year that I noticed Skadi and feel her the strongest. I also feel a little closer to Odin, another bit that I don’t understand. With Odin I think it is because I, usually, have larger bouts of creativity in the colder months. Skadi? Well, it is winter and there is snow!

I have yet to put up the altar in the house, something even Grendal is worried about. The table that I had used before is now our dinning table and we have nothing else to use. That and I am unsure where to place it. My thinking is upstairs in the general living space. That is where people would see it and there are windows! So there would be sun and the ability to see Grendal’s eventual flower garden. Yet I thought about the basement where we commune.

It will probably be upstairs. Sun, flowers, and quicker access to food and drink.

Speaking of drinks, Grendal and I FINALLY transferred our mead. The first one we tried was made with Cotton Candy Grapes at the behest of Divo. It turned out okay. Not too much of a flavor and on the dry side. Smooth, though! The one I was excited about was the Spiced mead. Made with whole cloves, cinnamon sticks, and nutmeg. A wonderful winter drink. If there is any left I may have to try some warmed.

Things are different this season, though. Odin seems absent and I only have the inkling of an impression from Skadi. They will be who and what they are, but this absence is strange. Perhaps it’s the new place. I haven’t been able to cleanse it yet. I haven’t kept my promise but cold weather has stopped it. The altar to the wights or any other spirits will be up outside in spring. I will honor Freya, Frey, and Baldr there. Odin and Frigga will have the main spot inside but all are welcome.

I just wish I knew why there is silence.