Ahem

 

I’m back. . . . I think.

Life has changed for the better.  Grendal and I both have new, better jobs.  We are less stressed.  Happier.  Things look brighter.  Grendal is working for a lawn treatment company and has already been told that he is probably going to be bumped up to an assistant manager’s position within the next few months.

Me?  I am now a cook in a local vegan brewery/restaurant.  I’m loving it so much.  The people are amazing.  They care about you.  I landed the position a little before St. Patrick’s day and I’ve made many friends already.  Which is a HUGE thing for me!  I mean, sure, the kitchen staff but the servers too.  It feels strange.  I’m not used to making connections so quickly but it happened.  Everyone seems so chill.  I mean, just Monday Grendal and I took his parents there for dinner.  He and I walked in and when the wait staff saw me, I got hugs. They were so happy to see me even though I had been there for a shift just the day before.

For the most part, everything has been pretty laid back since we landed our new jobs.  Divo is in the process of moving out.  Come to learn he is a bit of a hoarder and, well, he has made a mess of things.  Due to that, I think the process is daunting for him.  While Grendal and I would like him out ASAP, the amount of things he has plus two jobs is making things slow to a crawl.

So, why am I back?  After months (again) I’ve come back to this.  I honestly thought about starting a new blog, but what would the point be?  It would be the same ramblings and all that.  So, I’ll continue here the best that I can.  I have most mornings to myself.  Waiting for my shift with little to do.  So, why not ramble here to keep myself sane?

I’ve been watching AHS: Coven again.  I seem to be alone in my love for this season of the series.  I do see it’s issues but, for what ever reason, I fell in love.  Maybe it was the setting.  Angela Basset.  Who knows.  What ever it is, it has made me come back to this season at least 5 times while the rest have only been given the initial watch.

Love her. Gotta be the big hair.

#aesthetic

 

For the past week I’ve felt like something has been tugging at me.  I’m feeling restless on my path.  I’ve put out offerings, cleaned and redecorated the altar.  Hell, I’ve even pulled out some of my old books on wicca to flip through.  While I’m not Wiccan I’ve felt the need to have the books out for whatever reason.

It might be the changing of the season but something is happening to me, and to Grendal honestly.

I mean, Grendal did have a dream that dealt with Odin and Freyr.

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When in Doubt

I seriously just spent ten minutes trying to find a spongebob gif to finish this quote but couldn’t find it due to Pinky and the Brain and My Little Pony.  What the heck.

Anyway, quick blurb!  I have been meaning to write a proper post but I need to get things figured out in my head before I get it down.

So! The other day Grendal and I decided to do some spell/craft/magic stuff together.  It is honestly the first time I’ve done anything with anyone in YEARS.  I don’t want to go into the specifics of the work but I wanted to mention the interesting thing that happened.

It was set up where Grendal was focusing his energy at me so I could channel our combined energy into our working.  We’re sitting at the kitchen table, eyes closed.  I’m doing my thing and I’m nearly done.  I open my eyes.  Across from where I sit is a set of windows that look out into our front yard.  We had a curtain open to let some light in since it was a sunny afternoon.  To my surprise there was a crow in the yard.  In plain view of my seat.  I was floored.

Crows, for what ever reason, don’t really bother with the neighborhood we’re in.  We can hear them blocks away, maybe see them flying off among the trees in the direction but they rarely, if at all, come along our block.  Let alone hang out in our yard.  Yet, one was there.  Bobbing around in the grass.  I quietly got Grendal’s attention.  He peeked out the window and then looked at me with wide eyes.

We took it as a positive sign.

Here’s to hoping our little magical working, well, works.

Oh, to Be Young Again

Please note the sarcasm.

Imbolc happened over the weekend. I saw people on various social sites wishing each other the best and showing pictures of their celebrations, no matter how small.  While I am no longer some semblance of Wiccan I remember the holy days and have a few friends who still practice in some form.
Despite all that I saw none of my local pagans wishing each other a happy Imbolc.

Then again it might have had something to do with the fact we had blizzard conditions that day.

When I started on my pagan path, nearly 18 years ago (I was one of those girls who got interested thanks to The Craft[only one to stick with it]), all I had were dated books and random websites with MySpace like glittery banners. I would sneak some reading time at the local library and eventually worked up the courage in asking to buy one. My mother said no and her long lost catholic childhood reared it’s ugly head. I printed up information on Wicca to calm her worries and it seemed to help.  For the most part my family was accepting (I had gotten in trouble a year earlier for having one of the books and passing ‘evil’ notes with a fellow girl). I got my books in time.

One of the big things I wanted to do was celebrate the holidays within the Wiccan belief. I wrote down the names and the dates, learned what they were about. I was so excited but always confused. The dates made no sense. A good example is Imbolc. How could I celebrate the coming of spring when the air is frigid, the world still sleeping, and everything dusted in snow?

It wasn’t until many years later, honestly a few years ago, that I found people who were of the thought and opinion to shift things around so it fits your locale. The idea seemed so foreign, full of hearsay, and too damn good. I went with it, slowly fixing things to suit the northern lifestyle. This was also around the time where my beliefs were shifting once more. I was being pulled towards heathenry/asatru/what ever it is I try to call it. Past experiences were finally making sense. No more confusion and worry. Three years later it hasn’t changed.

My holidays now rotate how the world outside my door is happening. Spring hasn’t occurred. There is no specific day for the changing of the seasons now. I see sprouts and buds, spring is coming. The world is hot and in full bloom, summer is there. The cicadas are singing, fall is about to happen. And, for me, it is never truely winter until snow is falling, though the frigid temperatures do help.

If I could go back to the new pagan me, I would tell her to go with what seems right, but keep reading. Explore Wicca until you are done. Your gods have been waiting but know you will find them when the time is right.